Wednesday, November 17, 2010

what can be a generic and informative topic?

I had never been this clueless before. My brain seems to be residing at the top of my body without even realizing that it is supposed trigger neurons ##@k.

15 days ago (and its a long enough time for heavens sake) I was told to think of a topic to talk about with office colleagues. Today is the 14Th day and I have no clue of any shit to blabber. I am going to be tortured in the afternoon by the cursing stares of my fellow inmates @ office, all led by the manager. Why do managers even exist, the position itself should be renounced by Gov for moral upliftment of the resource community around Globe.

Anyways I am not going to crib about it anymore. I think I have dropped half of my functionable brain in last 2 years in IT and the remains work only aesthetically.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

What do i want to do?

Every single day of my life looks to me an utter waste. There is no purpose no aim I do not know what I want to do and I do not know how people decide what they want to do. In school I knew I would do Engineering, there wasnt anything else I could imagine myself as, in College I knew I would work in an IT firm and now I am as clueless as I had ever been in my entire life about the goal of life.....I am not going for management for sure because I want to remain in Technical. But what next? IT is shit, its the best career option for those who want to earn to live a prodigal life splurging money on every shit available in the malls. The job sucks!!! It is like a hedonist world of darkness where sun never rises.
Masters in technology is a life saving option but why. Its not a cheap affair and makes no sense to me unless I know what should be my Major and this, takes me back to question 1 - what do I want to do? where does my interest lie? I have no idea if any one else ever faced this but the realization itself is timorous, acceptance is social abasement. I work on SAP, I would probably continue in the field, it sounds good I'll study to the depth of it and I can be a Solution architect or may be a SAP Consultant although I loath those sucking business modules.
I might also prepare for Grad schools, I am not sure how I would handle the finances. The score and School acceptance can do the job of deciding the Major.
I hope things work fine and Mr. Goal the ghost stops hauting me at nights.